General Witterings -
Costs of Living on Rosy

Following on from last week:

I think that my right leg is now expecting puppies.

The family of nine ducklings have 'disappeared'.  No new families have appeared, and the locals are wondering what's up!  By this time of year (the say) the basin should be full of ducky families.

Ha!  Ha!!  I forgot to include this in last week's letter.  It's from the News Quiz on Radio 4.

A man saw his garden shed being burglarised.  He phoned the Police, who said that they had no-one available immediately, but would send someone when the said someone became available.

A minute later the man phoned the Police again.  He reminded them of his previous call, and said words to the effect "No need to take any further action.  I've shot the burglars" and put the phone down.

Within a minute Police cars started to arrive, including an Armed Response Unit, and a helicopter.  The burglars were caught red-handed.

The incident officer then approached the man and said: "I thought you said you had shot them."

The man replied "And I thought you said that there was no-one available."

He!  He!!  Tomorrow is England v Wales (rugby) at Twickers.  Roll back a few years.  It's a Saturday in (I think) Marylebone Magistrates Court, where the Welsh drunks are dealt with in the morning, giving them time to get out to Twickers in time for the match.

A red dragon, with his head under his arm, enters the dock, is charged with indecent exposure, pleads "Not Guilty" and is eventually asked to explain himself.

He said that he had been drinking vile English beer, and later, in the street, felt in need of urination.  He found a loo marked "Gents" and another marked "Ladies", but couldn't find the Dragons' urinal, despite an extensive search.  Hence he decided to use the gutter.

He continued that he also wished to lodge a strong complaint about his treatment whilst in custody.  For breakfast he had been given fried egg, bacon, potatoes and bread.  No consideration was given to need of Dragons, who need half a hundredweight of best Welsh coking coal to see them through the day.

Fined ten pounds.

That was the day that Wales won.

COSTS

I've been asked by one or two people to say something about the finances of living on Rosy.  I'll say a bit now, but there is more about costs and money and the like on this website.

First of all - the boat.

It is pretty impossible to define the sort of boat that is necessary for a live-aboard, as each person has their own ideas as to what is essential.  For example, Rosy is 52 ft long by 7 ft wide, and I find her quite OK.  For me.  With just one guest on board, I feel that she gets a bit crowded.  Yet I know of couples with children who live happily in a boat of this size.  Personally, I'd not be happy about living in anything very much smaller, but then I know people who live in very much smaller boats.

This is all quite important, as, of course, bigger boats cost more to buy and (in general) more to run.

Running costs are, basically, a licence (cheap in France) and insurance (cheaper than a car), diesel and fuel for cooking and heating (more diesel, gas and coal depending on the boat).  It pays to be a bit handy, as if things go wrong on a boat, you may be a long way from anywhere, with the consequent high 'call-out' fees.  Luckily, the boating community is a bit of a self-help organisation.

One also has decide on the sorts of home-comforts that one needs/wants on board.  Those folk who rely wholly on 12v electricity start at an advantage in the costs stakes, as their mind set enables them to live cheaply.  If you really NEED 240v appliances, then life start to get more expensive.  Batteries, chargers, alternators etc to provide 1000 - 1500 watts of 240v electricity are likely to cost upwards of £1000, whilst the 3000 watts (plus) needed for a washing machine can run up to £3000.

(Personally, I'm at the 1000 - 1500 watts level, and hand wash, but have a really good spin dryer.  I'll use a launderette if one is available).

There are then a variety of life style choices to be made, each one of which has financial implications, such as:

• Other Transport.  I know people who live on a cruising boat, but keep a car and a fold up motor bike.  They take the car (with the motor bike in the boot) to the next mooring, motor-bike back to the boat, put the motor bike onto the boat, and cruise along the to mooring and the car.  Very neat.  BUT, as one who scrapped his car (literally - it went to a Dutch scrap heap), life without a car is amazingly less costly than life with one.  Life is, of course, a bit more inconvenient, but once one quits the rat race, the lack of time pressure means that such inconveniences are easier to absorb.
  
  
• 'Entertainment' / Food.  If 'being entertained' is a big part of your life, then those costs carry over into boating.  If you need to eat out every night/week/month, then those costs will, of course, continue.  Similarly, if you eat 'convenience' food or take-aways, then those costs will also stay with you.  However, cooking 'raw' foods keeps costs down.  My weekly visit to the market gets veggies directly from the growers who sell in the market.  I try to use local produce, and I 'eat out' on average, about once a month (usually when there are guests on board).
  
  
• Other costs.  Then there are a myriad of incidental expenses which you may feel essential.  Do you need a daily newspaper or a regular magazine?  How much alcohol do you need, and will you drink this at home (cheaply) or in pub/bar (more expensive).  Etc. etc.

From all this, it becomes obvious that the amount of income one requires to satisfy one's idea of a comfortable life rather depends upon what one considers comfortable.

The Rosy life-style is financed from two sources:

• the income derived from renting out my small, two-bedroomed house.  I'd be in financial trouble if the house was un-let for too many months, so we take pains (and money) to keep it in good repair and decoration.  The letting is done through a most excellent agent who keeps the tenant (and me!) up to speed.  The mortgage has been paid off.
  
  
• a small pension.  I left the Army too early to qualify for a full pension, and since leaving the Army, I haven't earned/saved for any private pension scheme.  My next pay rise will be when I qualify for the Old Age Pension!! 

Er ....

That's it.

Next week - how curing a minor leak in the engine cooling system took five weeks and an extensive vocabulary of swearie words, leaving us with the leak cured, but a new one in a different place.

!!!*!**??*!?

Toodle pip!!

Bill