General Witterings -
Seasonal Greetings from Rosy

Indeed.  Warmest seasonal greetings to one and all - especially to those folk who have e-mailed me with comments and suggestions.  To 'Disgusted' I can only say that I tried, but it is physically impossible for a member of the male sex to do that (or even for the member of the male sex to do that).

Apparently the state of Fanny's feet are being discussed in Think Tanks in New Zealand - how news travels these days!!  Their suggestions are:

• Walk where there are no nettles.  This would banish us to the central lane of the nearest motor way, or to (here's a good one for "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with...") TWLD-TMOTR (answer at the end of this episode).
  
  
• Use dock leaves.  Great minds think alike, as this was my first idea.  Problem - no dock leaves.  Not a single one.  In UK, dock leaves and nettles invariably co-exist.  Not so in France.  I've been told that the French pick the young dock leaves "pour la cuisine").
  
  
• Use plastic bags to make bootees for Fanny.  Yes.  Thanks.  I'll think about that one, and put it to Fanny when she's in a good mood.

The main boaty bit this week is about keeping warm.  Rosy has a diesel fired stove (a Kabola 'Old Dutch') in the front cabin.  This naturally circulates hot water through a radiator and a towel rail, and keeps the front of the boat very cosy.  The boatman's cabin has a Premier/Epping (I think they are the same) solid fuel stove.  The definitive work on what solid fuel to use in boat stoves was put out by Chris Deuchar on (I think) the internet newsgroup uk.rec.waterways several years ago.  By chance, his 'nutty' recommendation - Homefire Ovals - are available (under a pseudonym) here in Briare, France.  I lit the stove on 30 November, and it kept going and going.  Keeping it going is tricky as one has to get the size of the draught at the bottom right, and the top damper setting right, and as both are infinitely variable it's a bit hit 'n' miss.  I got a hit as the fire kept going and going.  On a revisit to the coal yard, I found they had some anthracite, so I bought that, as it's slower burning, and had trouble for a week afterwards, with the fire failing most days.  However, we seem to have got it organised now, and it's been 'in' for the last three days.

The coal depot also sells 'vin en vrac' - wine out of a barrel, so I got five litres of Merlot for about 9 Euro.  I even managed to get some sodium meta-bisulphite from the local chemist (used to sterilise bottles before filling them with wine).

I was involved in a general whinge the other day, about how jeans don't last as they long as they used to.  They used to last for years, now they barely last seven or eight months.  But wait a bit...

Years ago, I wore a uniform during the working day (I used to be a military gent), a tweed sports jacket and cavalry twills for 'casual' off duty moments, and a three-piece whistle and flute for more formal off-duty moments - like parties.  Jeans were restricted to Saturday afternoon.  So OF COURSE they lasted a long time - I hardly ever wore them.

J-cloths are another problem.  The blue ones seem to be OK, but the yellow and pink ones are pron.  And they don't tear along any obvious line, they just seem to tear randomly.  Has John Peel dealt with this on 'Home Truths'?

Those readers of a nervous disposition, or who resent discussions of a scatological nature, should quit now - or jump to the end for the solution to TWLD-TMOTR.

Most of us don't blink an eye when (if?) we turn over a cow-pat, and see the myriad life forms that live under it.  And feed on it.  However, these are either legless (slugs, worms etc) or multi-legged (beetles etc.).  One the other hand, the idea of animals with a limited number of legs (quadrupeds and bipeds) eating turds rather disturbs us.

Of course, in reality, digestive systems aren't that good, so that animal excretions contain good levels of nutrients that others can (or could) make use of.  Hence many animals (including woofs) are quite happy about eating turds.  It does them little (if any) harm, other than to earn a rebuke from their owners.

I learned all this the other day when I was out walking Fanny.  She found some doggy turds, and ate one.  I dragged her away from the rest, and got down to her level, to give her a shout and whinge to dissuade her from doing it again.  She assumed I was getting down to say "Hi", so ... SHE LICKED MY FACE!!!

AAARRRGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Luckily we weren't too far from Rosy, and I made up a potion of one third bleach, one third Dettol and one third Ajax Lemon Liquid Cleanser.  I seriously though about drinking it, or at least gargling with it, but sense prevailed, and I just washed my head and shoulders with it.  The result is that Fanny is in DEEP trouble if she EVER turns her nose up at my cooking, and my beard now has streaks of snowy white in it.

That's all Folks.

HFC

TWLD-TMOTR = The White Line Down The Middle Of The Road)

Toodle pip!!

Bill